The Lost Swords

The Lost Swords by Fred Saberhagen is an epic fantasy series about, obviously, lost swords. There are 12 swords forged by the gods and distributed to men as a game. Each sword has incredible powers, and the gods wanted to watch mankind scheme and tear each other apart in their attempt to gain control of all the swords.


There are some interesting philosophical questions raised in this series, and it's one I can read over and over and get something new out of it every time. What kind of power is the most important? The power to control people or the power to love? The power to destroy or the power to create and heal? Does luck trump skill? What makes a certain power dangerous? The power itself or the one wielding it? It's extremely interesting, and I highly recommend.

Anyway, if these were ever adapted to film, it would have to be either a mini-series or a series of films. However, there are 12 books altogether, and most studios won't finance that kind of franchise without a guaranteed return, and most audiences will lose interest after four or five movies, tops. Unless you are Harry Potter and you are awesome.

This, of course, does not stop me from dreaming about who should be cast if they ever do get adapted!

First up, is Mark. He begins the story at the age of 12 as a peasant whose family is unwillingly tied to the swords and their creation. By the second book, he's a full grown man, and he's in his forties by the time the series ends. He's humble and unassuming, but in the end has a royal title and a noble family. He is the key player in the sword saga, and become world-famous as a result of his sword-related adventures. He's intelligent and a truly, genuinely good guy. I really like somebody like Eric Bana.

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Next up, is Ben. Ben is Mark's closest friend throughout this story. They separate, sometimes for years at a time, but ultimately, they come back together and they are always on the same side. Ben is huge and appears to be stupid. He's far from it, and gains the upper hand often because of his disguised intelligence. He eventually ascends to nobility, but prefers to function as Mark's personal bodyguard; that way he can hit people and not get in trouble for it. He's awesome. Somebody like Vin Diesel. He could pull off "strong and dumb looking" right?

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Barbara is another childhood friend of Ben and Mark. She and Ben eventually marry, but she becomes selfish and materialistic and as Ben moves up in the world, she become increasingly insatiable in her drives and her worldly desires. She's beautiful, and she's got to look a little bit like you might want to slap her in the face. I like Helena Bonham Carter, actually. (I really do like her, I just think she could act like she's a total jerk)

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Kristen is Mark's wife, eventually. She's sweet and smart and delicately beautiful. She is the ultimate diplomat and maintains the kingdom in her husband's stead when he's off playing with the swords. Somebody like Amy Adams.

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The Emperor is a mysterious character in the background of the story. He's a bit of a nutter, and wanders around meddling in people's affairs. Ultimately, he means well, but he could be construed as either good or evil, right up until the very end when you finally see his true colors. He's in love with a psychopath and is often mistaken for a fisherman. Oh, and he likes to wear masks and can make men laugh themselves to death. Go figure. I pictured somebody old and wrinkly and enigmatic and dryly funny (i.e. British). Like Malcolm McDowell.

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Vilkata is the main villain for most of this series. He has long silver hair and is deathly pale. He also voluntarily gouged his own eyes out in an attempt to gain better control of his senses. He uses demons to provide him with mental images of the world around him in lieu of actual sight. He's a winner, if you ask me. I picture somebody like David Carradine.

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Next up is Wood; the ancient sorcerer bent on power. He has morphed into a half-beast of sorts, though he is incredibly handsome, he also has claws and wings. Is it really so hard to believe that a man with claws could be sexy?

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I rest my case. Back to Wood, he's a sexy, fifty thousand year old wizard with wings and claws who would just as soon torture you to death as anything. Something about Jason Lewis says "psychopathic sex symbol" to me.

Tigress is Wood's right hand girl. She's described as being petite with a fiery personality. She rides around on his griffin and screams at people a fair amount. Why do I want Kristin Chenoweth to do this? I know she's usually funny, but for some reason I could picture her raining death on everybody around while still looking totally adorable. You know: a harmless looking killer.

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Side note: is anybody else surprised that when I googled Kristin Chenoweth, half the pictures are of her in her underwear? I didn't think of her as that kind of actress.