I'm actually guest blogging over at Ramblings of a Singleton today, and if you think that a blog run by an Irish singleton in the vein of Carrie Bradshaw is a weird match for a book-turned-to-movie blogger, you would be forgetting this girl:
Go check out my Lessons Learned post ;)
And, by the way, does anybody else think she looks WAY better on the left?
EDIT: Below is the post as it originally ran on Ramblings of a Singleton.
Bridget Jones is that woman that I wish I was.
Well, that's not quite true.
Bridget Jones is the woman I am. Sure, she's pretty, but she's insecure. She's heavier than she wants to be and she has some bad habits, but she wants to be better. She tracks her successes (and her failures) and is striving toward being a better woman. She's opinionated and intelligent, but she sticks her foot in her mouth more often than not.
The woman who first used the term "Singleton" to refer to an unmarried adult stands as a role model for millions of single adults the world around. I want to share with you some of the lessons I learned from reading the Bridget Jones novels
and watching the Bridget Jones movies
. Lesson #1: "I will always be a little bit fat" but men happen to like the "wobbly bits".
Yes, thin women are beautiful. But, so are lots of not-so-thin women. I've had three babies in four years. Oh, yeah, and I'm normal. I wear a size 12 jeans, which may be bigger than I want it to be, but I promise you, I can still turn heads if I want to. Women who obsess about their weight and strive to look just like Victoria Beckham are fighting the wrong fight. Be healthy and love your curves. Chances are, he loves them more than you can imagine.
Lesson #2: Scoundrels don't change.
The man-whore who cheated on his girlfriend to be with you will do the same to you one day. The man who sleeps around at the office will continue to do so when you no longer work at that office. The man who pays for sex will always be willing to pay for sex. Or coerce it out of somebody insecure/drunk/naive for free. You can't change him and you're better than that. Move on.
Lesson #3: Your first impression can change. Don't be too proud to backpeddle a little bit.
OK, to be honest, I learned this one from reading Pride and Prejudice, but since Bridget Jones's Diary is based on P&P, and most women today are more likely to see a Bridget movie than read an Austen novel, I'll leave it on here. The stuffy, boring intellect could just be having a rough day. He might be funny and sweet. And, it's amazing how once you know somebody a little better "boring" can suddenly sound a lot like "responsible."
Lesson #5: Have the big conversations early.
Remember when Bridget thinks she might be pregnant? She and Darcy sit down and start daydreaming about the baby; names, schools, etc. And they fight about it. They end up completely pissed and glad that they aren't pregnant. I know it's played for laughs, but how many women put themselves in this position? They're so grateful to have a man in their lives and they don't want to scare him away, so they avoid the big discussions: babies, families, religion and politics. Knowing what you stand for and what's important to you is more valuable than a shallow, dead-end relationship. If it's important to you- talk about it and talk about it early. Which brings me to...
Lesson #6: Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
Bridget sticks her foot in her mouth over and over again. And often, she's not that passionate about what she's talking about. Sure, she has an opinion, but the fact that Darcy disagrees with her isn't a breaking point. So why fight about it? Be willing to shut your mouth and agree to disagree sometimes. If it's not worth breaking up over, then it's not worth fighting over. State your opinion clearly, confidently and kindly, if he disagrees, move on.
Lesson #7: Don't put your rouge on in the dark.
Do I need to explain this one?
Lesson #8: It's OK to want to be better.
I think this is the best thing about Bridget. She's trying. Sure, she's not always succeeding, but she wants to be better; lose the weight, kick the ciggys, cut back on the alcohol and find herself happy in a stable relationship. But she won't compromise who she is to do it. A man needs to love her for her. She's filled with self-doubt, but she continues on her path; she knows who she is and moves forward with that knowledge in mind. But here's the kicker...
Lesson #9: Bloom where you are planted.
Bridget spends so much time worrying about being thinner or prettier or taller or more successful that she doesn't notice what she does have going on around her. She suffers from "the grass is always greener" syndrome. She needs to find the balance between becoming a person and wallowing in self pity because she's not there yet.
This is where Bridget and I differ. I am not perfect. I want to be better, and I'm working on it, one agonizingly slow day at a time. But if I were to put off everything enjoyable while I waited for those last 7 pounds to come off, or for my hair to grow out or for my mother to stop being a nut case, I would miss out on life. So, here's to striking the balance; becoming a better version of the fabulous woman I am now without missing out on what is going on today.
Gina blogs over at Fantasy Casting about books, movies, but mostly books being turned into movies. You can contact her here. Photo: courtesy of MSN Entertainment downloads.
