I know it's been done, and it's been modernized, but I still would love to see Emma done again! Doesn't everybody want to watch a new version of every Jane Austen novel every couple of years? Besides, it's been fifteen years since Emma was done, and sixteen years since Clueless (the modernization of Emma, in case you hadn't put that together).
Question... Does anybody else suddenly feel really old? Just me? OK. Good to know.
Let's get down to it, and start making a Fantasy Cast for Emma.
First up, Emma. Emma is an independently wealthy twenty-one-year-old woman who lives with her aging father in the English countryside. She's a know-it-all match making busybody who thinks that there can be no greater gift to anyone than her own company. I pick
Megan Fox. I think she's a good enough actress that she can put on the British accent, and I'd like to see her challenge herself a little.
For Harriet, Emma's best friend and social protege, I think we need somebody sweet, somebody who looks a little "lost." And, of course, since Thai in Clueless had red hair, I think it would be a nice touch if this version of Harriet was a redhead too. I choose
Bonnie Wright. Mr. Elton is the object-of-forced-desire for Harriet. He is also desperately in love with Emma, though for all her know-it-all-ness, she's blind to that fact. He's a little older and definitely dashing. He has a sort of exuberance for life that I find comical. And frankly, when I think of "romantic lead" and "comical exuberance" I think of nobody more than
Ralph Fiennes.
Mr. Martin is the actual-not-forced object of Harriet's affections. He's a farmer, and while he is comfortably wealthy, educated and polite, Emma deems him to be unworthy of Harriet's attention. He, for his part, is patient and persistent. I think of a nice, likable, sweet, laid back guy like
Jude Law.
Mr. Knightley is the brother of Emma's brother in law. Which makes him, technically, her brother out law. Is that right? No. I don't think that's right. Regardless, he is the real romantic lead here, and thus needs to have all the suave gentility and animal magnetism we can muster to play opposite Megan Fox. I choose
Sam Worthington.
Frank Churchill is a frivolous, handsome young man who moves to town and begins a flirtatious relationship with Emma. I can think of no one better to play this role than
Stephen Moyer.
And lastly, Emma's father. He is an overly cautious old man who thinks everything in the world is dangerous or harmful. He believes himself to be an imposition on everyone and, as such, makes for dreadful company. Still, Emma loves him, and he's rich, so there's that... I think
Richard Griffiths should take this on.
So, there you have it. The perfect Fantasy Cast for the inevitable remake of Emma. Oh, and, just in case you're still reading this: April Fool's!
