Again, I am returning to a character who has been put to film more times than most of us can remember. Luckily, we have IMDb to tell us that there have been 103 film and TV versions of Batman (including cartoons), plus 8 video game versions.
This is way too many for me to contrast and compare thoroughly here on this blog. So, instead I will stick to the most recent: Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale.
The character, as you know, is based on the DC comic
character, and is really (especially in film versions) a conglomerate of two alter-egos: Bruce Wayne and The Batman. First, some visual comparisons: 
Michael Keaton in Batman
(1989) and Batman Returns
(1992), Val Kilmer in Batman Forever 
(1995), George Clooney in Batman & Robin
(1997) and Christian Bale in Batman Begins
(2005) and The Dark Knight
(2008). (same order above, as Batman, and below, as Bruce Wayne)
And now, my criteria for best Batman: (granted, some of these are directorial or production choices, but it's all part of the package)
Now, for the Hotness factor. You know, I would have guessed that Val Kilmer had won this. But, upon further review, he looks like a total nerd. And not a hot nerd. Just a nerd. Tragic. So, by default it goes to Christian Bale. EDIT: it has been pointed out to me that I have no category for "best lips in the Batsuit". Seriously, why did I not include this? Val Kilmer definitely wins this point, however, the final tally remains so distantly in Bale's favor that it doesn't really matter. But I concede the point anyway.
If Kilmer is going to go around looking like a nerd, he might as well look intelligent too. But he didn't. Clooney beat him on that count, hands down. And Keaton loses this category for looking surprised and confused during most of his time as Bruce Wayne.
Toughness is important in a Batman. Bale's character is the toughest, for sure. He trained with the League of Shadows, he is the only one we see really working out, or bruised, or sewing up his own freaking knife wounds.
Batman is, as you must know, completely bent on vengeance. He cannot revive his parents, but he can rid the world of crime. The Keaton Batman had some of this, but by the time Clooney rolled around, all semblance of vengeance was gone. We had lost touch with WHY Batman exists (Hint: it's NOT to have a "gay" old time with Robin, as Clooney's film might suggest). Bale brings vengeance back with a... well, with a vengeance.
In order to fly around in a batsuit looking for criminals, one must be unhinged, or as Bale's Wayne tells us, "a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues." And while Bale's incarnation pointed it out, I think Keaton's version really nails the manic side of Batman.
Bale is the only Batman to have a different talking voice from Bruce Wayne. Again, this is one of those things that didn't seem wrong with the first four movies, but as soon as it was corrected in the reboot, it was so obvious. WHY hadn't anybody thought of this sooner? Bale wins again.
The next two, smiling and crotch shots, are part of the bigger picture of toughness and overall masculinity, but they are such egregious errors that they require additional points to be deducted from their respective Batman. Batman doesn't smile. Especially not after being kissed. And bat-crotch shots? Seriously? If openly gay movie directors want to be taken seriously in the mainstream, especially with superhero flicks, they should not do close up shots of codpieces and butt cheeks. Sorry, but it's true.
And, lastly, the only true ladies' man of the franchise is Christian Bale. He has Rachel Dawes waiting anxiously in the wings. He dates multiple European supermodels- simultaneously. That is a ladies' man. Keaton loses this one for one big reason: he falls for Catwoman. Idiot.
The final score:
Keaton: +1 -3 = -2 overall
Kilmer: +0 -3 = -3 overall
Clooney: +1 -4 = -3 overall
Bale: -0 +6= +6 overall
And, you know, I could have guessed this would be the outcome before my analysis, but I would not have guessed it by such a big margin. I guess I forgot how much the older Batman movies sucked. Christian Bale- a Brit- is the best Batman yet. Go figure.
Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts in the comments?
Images: Google Images
