How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf is a hilariously funny (if unnecessarily dirty) take on the paranormal romance genre. If you are a fan of Twilight and Sookie Stackhouse and the like, and you don't mind reading (or skimming past) some explicit scenes, I highly recommend this book. Oh, but you need a sense of humor, because your beloved series is going to have egg all over its face...

We start with Mo. Mo was raised by hippies, tried to become a yuppie, and now has moved herself to Alaska to try and figure out who she really is. She's in her early thirties, tall, pretty and has a tiny bit of a temper problem. She has to look like she has an outdoorsy-nature-loving side, but also like she's at home in a big city, too. In the instant that Mo's face was described, I saw Liv Tyler and never looked back.

Evie is Mo's first friend (and boss) in Grundy, AK. She's a little bit older, obviously small town, and just the sweetest little thing ever. I couldn't get Connie Ray out of my head. This is a really old picture, but it gives you a better idea of the back-woods-small-town-darling look:

Buzz is Evie's husband, and he's a bit older than she is, he's gruff, prideful and has a trademark buzz-cut. I don't know a lot of guys that can pull off gruff and prideful quite as well as Brian Dennehy 

Cooper is the super-hot jerk that Mo (of course) falls in love with immediately. The fact that he's a werewolf is just a non-issue. He's animalistic, with severe territory issues, super-sex-skills and a weirdly attractive body odor. He's a jerk most of the time, and Mo is completely turned on by the bad-boy vibe that he's constantly throwing off. He actually picks her up and slings her over his shoulder, cave-man style, and she loves it. I can't think of anybody more suited to a bad-boy-werewolf than Colin Farrell

Seriously. Is there anybody hotter who looks like he could just wind up in a fight on any given day?

OK. Well... yes. But that's already been done.


(And yes, I will find just about any excuse to put a Hugh Jackman Wolverine pic up. Rawr.)

Maggie is Cooper's little sister. She's also inherited the family traits: anger issues, territorialness, and the ability to morph into a wolf at will. Somebody like Cobie Smulders looks like she could tear your head off, but then be sweet baby sister, too, yes?

Now, one of the two following characters (Samson or Eli) was so minor that I almost thought he could have been discarded entirely. I figured he was the all too common novel-to-movie castoff. When whittling down the cast to those most memorable for viewing purposes, somebody gets cut, and any lines they had get divvied up between the remaining characters or lost completely.

I'm not going to tell you which one it was I thought could be cut... I'll just tell you that he turns out to be really, really important. Really.

Samson is one of Cooper's brothers. He's big and smiley and one of those guys who thinks he's God's gift to women. He's charming and a bit on the smarmy side, but funny and easy to hang around anyway. Somebody like Alan Ritchson (Just color his hair dark... it will be fine. Don't worry)

Eli is another of Cooper's brothers. He's the sweet one, the one who wants to help Mo be part of the family, but also realizes that sometimes Cooper is a giant jerk-face and that maybe she'd be better of without him. Somebody you kind of wish was your best friend. Like Jake Gyllenhaal 

And, just because it's funny: Leonard is this pervy guy in town who keeps asking Mo to come over and hang out in his "home rigged hot tub" I can't help but picture Steve Buscemi

sitting in one of these:

How's that for a mental picture??? You wish I had ended on Colin Farrell, eh? Well, here's a palette-cleanser:

The Goddess Test

The Goddess Test is a cute new YA book about Kate and her attempt to be a goddess and prolong her time with her dying mother. It's nothing earth-shattering, but it's a fun, light read that can probably make just about anybody smile: it's a modern day fairy tale and I loved it. 

Kate was raised in New York City by her mother. Now they have moved to Eden, Michigan as her mother lives out her last days. Kate eventually enters into a bargain with Hades, and has to pass a number of tests in order to attain her goddesshood (spell-check is telling me that's not a word? WHY? "godhood" is a word. Why not "goddesshood"? Word-makers are misogynists.)

Anyway. Kate has to be believable as a plain-Jane type of girl, believable as a potential Goddess and be able to convince us that she actually cares about the people around her. This actress was suggested to me by a friend for another book/cast, and I've been patiently waiting until I could find a place for her, and I believe I have found it. I pick Malese Jow

Diana (Kate's Mother) is dying of cancer, and has been gravely ill for four years. Now, however, through the power of Hades' bargain, she is healthy and vivacious in Kate's subconscious, and we need somebody who can manage the mystique and the power of this motherly character. Oh, and she needs to resemble Kate a fair bit. I pick Monica Belucci

Ava is your run-of-the-mill popular-girl-b-word. She's stuck up and vapid and self-centered. Until she dies. Then she hovers in the gateway to the underworld with Kate and the two become friends. Somebody like Amber Heard would do well here.

James is an averagely awkward adolescent. He's goofy, but kind and open-minded. Eventually, though, he needs to be believable as something more, and I think somebody like Kevin McHale would be versatile enough to pull this off.

Calliope is one of Kate's handmaids when she is living in the gateway to the underworld. She's centuries old, smart, bubbly and super helpful. A little too helpful, if you know what I mean *eyebrow waggling* I pick  Olivia Hack

Ella is another of Kate's handmaids, and she's a little more... passionate. Passionate about everything. She's quick to anger, quick to judge, proud, haughty, and desperately devoted to those she loves. She's also centuries old, and a timeless beauty. I think of a girl much like Alexandra Daddario

And now we come to Hades. Or, as he is known in this story: Henry.

I know, right? "Henry"? That's the "modern" name that the nearly omnipotent, all-powerful Hades came up with as a moniker for the twenty first century? Whatever, dude, it's your life. Er... afterlife. You know what I mean.

Henry is typical tall, dark and handsome. He's moody and broody. He's clever and friendly, but guards his feelings very closely. He is responsible for this goddess test that is being administered, and he has watched dozens of girls die in their attempt of it. He feels guilty and powerless to protect those that he is most responsible for. Did I mention he's handsome? And charming?

 Let's see... handsome, timeless, exotic, moody... that can only mean Ben Barnes

Rawr. 

You can read my review of this book on Goodreads.

Dash and Lily's Book of Dares

Dash and Lily's Book of Dares is an adorable little book about a shy girl, living in Manhattan with nobody around for her Christmas holidays. So her older brother and his boyfriend find an incredibly creative way to set her up with a nice (if totally unknown) young man.

Chaos ensues.

And it is hilarious.

Now, this book has already been optioned for a movie and is set to be made in 2013, but that doesn't mean we can't dream about who we would love to see on the big screen.

First up in a fantasy cast is Lily. Lily is a sweet seventeen year old girl who is struggling to hold onto her childhood, but painfully realizing that she must grow up. She's the girl who loves to bake cookies for Christmas, wishes she could believe in Santa, thinks the best of everybody and shows up to a club wearing a sparkly dress, elf shoes and Christmas bauble earrings. She's adorable, and just the cutest little thing you ever did see. Somebody like Emily Osment:

Now for Dash. He's cute, well-read, sarcastic and willing to play this game of Lily's. He's also cynical and almost perpetually in self-preservation mode. He's cautious with his emotions, but does open up to Lily- and only Lily- as the story goes on. He's a keeper.

Here's the problem with Dash: He is Jess Mariano. And if you don't know who Jess Mariano is, I sentence you to go watch all seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls immediately. Any pop culture junkie worth their salt knows who Jess Mariano is, sheesh. In lieu of watching all one hundred fifty four episodes, you can go to this link and read the conversation that made me fall in love with Jess Mariano for good.

Milo Ventimiglia is obviously much too old to be seventeen anymore, but there are plenty of these type of guys wandering around Hollywood these days, so no worries. Somebody like Avan Jogia:

You can read my review of this book on Goodreads.