Heathers

I hear there is a new TV version of "Heathers" being put together, and since other outlets have done (in my not so humble opinion) a very poor job of fantasy casting this, I have taken it upon myself to branch out from books-done-as-movies to movies-redone-as-TV-shows.


Veronica. This girl needs to be just about everything a teenager can be. Moody. Cute. The martyr. Desperate for attention from both her parents and her peers. You need to believe that this girl feels "trapped" emotionally when JD starts to show his true colors- Rooney Mara

Edit: I have been told that this is actually Kate Mara. I like her too. THIS is actually Rooney Mara:

Either actress would do a phenomenal job, but I do stand corrected. 

JD is even a little tougher. Any other "fantasy" casts I have seen have cast super gorgeous, heartbreaker types for this role. I don't think those people remember that movie very well, because JD is tormented and deranged. Psychotic. 

My theory is that Christian Slater became a heartthrob/ sex symbol and everyone forgot that this particular character was none of those things. A little reminder, THIS is JD from "Heathers":

 Right? So sick of the "in" crowd and the political drama and crap of high school that he totally flipped. I suggest this kid:  Kyle Gallner

 Handsome enough, but there is something in his eyes that just says "I'm crazy- don't trust me!" 

As for our three Heathers. Super blond, bratty, gorgeous and yet you need to feel a little bit sorry for them in the end, so they have to be at least a little bit likable: 

Heather Duke- AnnaLynne McCord
Heather McNamara- Hayden Panettiere
Heather Chandler- Ashley Benson
 

Then, just for fun, the football players, Ram and Kurt. In the 1980's, "popular" football-player type guys were big, hulking masses that didn't appear all that intelligent. Kind of like this:

These days, it's hard enough trying to find a famous male teen that doesn't look more like a girl than anything else, much less one who resembles the testosterone-laden meatheads of the 80s. So, we do the best we can:

Ram- Brendan Bradley
Kurt- Jake McDorman

I don't actually know who the kid is being strangled by Jake McDorman in this picture, but I felt like it exemplified the jock-strap stereotype to find a shot of him messing with a smaller, weaker specimen.


Agree? Disagree? Post your thoughts in the comments! 
All images: Google Images